Originally Posted by
Orange24
Pics for the fam any day!!
I’ll say this; I remember my first day with a trainer. He asked me to do 10 push ups to warm up. I couldn’t do 2. This is a true story. I literally could not do 2 push ups. I couldn’t have been skinner. Obviously this is why I was there in the first place.
I told him I just really needed to gain 10 lbs. Well I gained 10 lbs in like the first month and we all know how that goes; “I don’t look different”
Took me a while to look jacked, probably a decade.
I did a push up contest and a pull up contest last year. I won both. I quit at 100 push ups because the previous dude had 88.
And I did 45 pull ups. Not chin ups lol. No one came close. I’ll say that was fun.
It feels good to not be that skinny kid anymore though. But with all that said, I thought I’d feel way better about myself when I finally looked awesome naked and jacked at the beach. I always wanted that, and now that I look decent, it doesn’t feel like I thought it would. Don’t get me wrong, it’s more comfortable than uncomfortable. But what happens on the inside is what produces what I was looking for all those years. It’s what I’m still looking for, and what I’m working towards.
I’ve worked way harder for my mental health as an adult than I EVER would have imagined. A lot caught up to me about 5 years ago. Panic attacks started and I had no idea what was happening. Trust me, I can rep out 305 more times than anyone at my gym but I couldn’t lace up my shoes or walk down a flight of stairs without trembling or even crying during that season. All hell broke loose.
I had my wife, a team, an army I’ll call them, there with me, reminding me I’d find my way home again. I needed major support. OD was in conversation with me everyday as well, a time I’ll never forget. I was teaching at the time giving lectures in front of hundreds of people per day. It couldn’t have felt more impossible to get up everyday. I remember watching my hands shake all day writing on the white board, I could barely type, and even talking wasn’t fluid for me. And for those who know me, communication is by far my greatest skill. Like I said, my life came unglued.
Maybe one day I’ll post more on the topic but for now, know that mental gains will always supersede the physical gains. It’s a lot harder to stay calm and collected for me than it is to go train my ass off. We can all get jacked and tan, but can we fully live, be content, not worry about tomorrow and breathe a little deeper? Well, my aim is to do so, and most days it’s still tough.
All love
O
