I'm venting and need advise

[Fuelfan]

Don't really know how to start this one so i'm just going to blow it out.... I've been offered a job on a new Top Fuel Funny Car team out of Qatar and have been invited to go over there for Christmas with my family and to check things out and we are to leave on the 21st, well life just changed drastically this week. My sister inlaw has a drinking problem and just received 2 yeah 2 more DUI's this last week at the same time, one for being on drugs and one for alcohol and two drug charges on to of that. To make a long story short, she's going to prison for these charges because this is # 5 and 6 DUI, her husband over dosed 6 months ago and passed away and now I have 3 more kids living with me with nowhere else to go. My wife wants me to still go to Qatar because this is my dream job and my opportunity to to get back behind the wheel but I feel like I can't leave my wife behind to handle all the bullshit that was just handed to my family. How one persons selfish choices can affect so many people in so many ways. I've never been away from my wife or family at Christmas time in 22 years. I'm just trying to hold it together right now and be strong dad and husband but inside i'm scrambled. I need a little help figuring this one out.

[Orange24]

Partnership with your wife is key here. Making sure that this isn't a sacrificial thing and that her needs are completely taken care of. If she is 100% supportive of this choice and you both can have a healthy game plan on how to make things work till the relocation becomes more convenient then by all means! You have dreams and goals and she seems to understand that and support that. That's huge in a marriage. Also your perspective is going to be a little different because you don't have that "mother" identity in you. Where as she does. Doesn't mean that she is balls to the wall excited, it just means she knows she is plenty capable of making this work for both of you. Rule #1 protect your marriage at all cost, rule #2 stay strong, humble at heart, and always willing. Hope this helps. I'm not exactly the most qualified candidate for advice but I decided to share.

[Bigmike]

Do what your wife is pushing bro... don't throw away a dream because others can't manage life. You'll regret it for life. You've got life live it for you and you immediate family... your wife and your kids.

[Fuelfan]

I really do have a fantastic wife that is very supportive and extremely strong. The one thing I didn't mention is that I have 5 kids which 2 are older and have moved out but still would leave her 6 kids to take care of.
One of my thousand worries is that i'm getting getting a little older and this opportunity may never be there again. I keep thinking to myself though is this gods way of telling me not to go, that i'm going to die this time in a car? I'm at the point right now I think i'm just way over thinking everything. Maybe my estrogen levels are way to high or is the Tren talking? Lol

[Vicious 13]

That's a really tough one bro... U have to the weigh the options, I was thinking go until I read the last post. God forbid, but what if something did happen. It wouldn't b fair to your wife and kids to not have u... I don't know bro I wish I had a book w all of life's answers cause that really is a tough one

[CWB]

You will be in my thoughts my friend as I send all the love and positive energy I can your way. This is huge as your clearly aware. If you have any other family now is the time for everyone to come together and help these new children that have become fulltime in your life. If everyone can help even a little these kiddos will be safe and hopefully everyone will be able to continue there lives without having them put completely on hold. If theres anything I can do for you please get in touch.

[ordawg1]

Just go and all will work out.My business took me all over the world and back in the old days was very tough to stay in touch.Today-you can talk and see each other over web daily.Will actually make your marriage stronger IMO.She is being supportive which is a big gift.Make sure she is OK with bills etc and get on it or life will pass you by.Approach thse issues with a positive attitude and all will be well-Luck-OD

[Fuelfan]

Thanks guys for the support! This one is going to take a little thought and some prayer I think. One way or another I think things will work them self out. I think it's time for the gym and a good head cleaning!

[kazman68]

Thanks guys for the support! This one is going to take a little thought and some prayer I think. One way or another I think things will work them self out. I think it's time for the gym and a good head cleaning!

Good idea, and pray for your sister-in law and her husband, addiction clouds the mind, it blinds you from anything and everything that should be important to you. I'm not defending their actions, by any means. They are lucky they have someone like you to help out (your a good man) I hope they can break free of this 'insanity' and it is to me, and get there lives back together..again God bless you for your actions. I also hope you get to do your dream job, I never had one...you sir deserve that.

[babablacksheep]

I will keep it in my thought and prayers for you......there wouldn't be anything put in front of you if you couldn't deal with it.....best wishes bro