Originally Posted by
MuscleAddiction
Thanks Hoss, and Alec you are not alone. Thank you Baby as you are always there for Nikki and I, and we love you. There is a song on the radio that has a verse "have an angel on my shoulder, and the devil in my head"...as my mind is my worst enemy at times. As far as my faith, well it has been renewed as of last year, so I look at it as if I am a novice in this, although like I said was baptized as a family 12/16/14...a very powerful day for our family as a whole, as well as for myself. I am reading the bible daily, as well as taking this day by day. I love this lifestyle of ours and no don't see myself turning away from it anytime soon...if ever. I am a man that has always lived my life doing the next right thing, I do not hurt anyone around me intentionally, I have been in two fist fights in my entire life back in high school, had a bout of drug use back then too, but ended it and picked up weights and this lifestyle to save me from further destruction in my life. I had a career that I was proud of (yes we should not be prideful), I have always worked hard to take care and support my family, always being the best father, husband, friend, brother, mentor, man I can be. I do not drink alcohol, I do not smoke...used to but gave it up, I do not cheat nor ever have, and love my wife and daughter with all my soul and being. I do carry resentments but working on them, I know they harm me more than they do others, there are some close relationships in my life that I can learn to be more forgiving and let go of those resentments...but working on them. When I was laid off my job of 23+ years it hit me hard, and as most will think that this really isn't much to be down and out about (yes I never wanted to talk or complain about MY problems to others because why were MY problems greater than other peoples, so kept them to myself and my close family...but am a man who wears his heart on his sleeve unfortunately). So when I decided it was time to give my life over to God and Christ as I had no control, and to work on my relationship with God and to surrender myself to his path for me, this is pretty much the only thing I see as a question to it all. Is it getting in the way of my relationship to him? I don't feel it is, I talk and pray to him daily, am active in our church, involved in a growth group at church, as well as volunteer in the youth program my daughter is in...I try and help as many in our community as I can, I love everyone, and I even have found myself swearing less lol...so I guess the sin I have through this lifestyle is vanity. I love the sport of bodybuilding, it saved my life from a road of destruction and has what I feel made me a better person, more confident, loving, caring, nurturing, compassionate, disciplined, hard working, and wanting to share and help others in this as well. Although it was a thought in me that has been lingering, as there are some aspects to it that can be looked upon as sin...but we are all sinners through Gods freewill, and Jesus died for our sins so we can be forgiven. Do I admit that I am sinning in the scheme of things sure, do I ask for forgiveness yes, do I pray daily yes, do I owe it all to God for what I have been blessed with in my life you bet, will I continue walking Gods path and help spread his love and word...YES. It is nice to see that I am not the only one here, I have put myself out there in a vulnerable state, but like Baby said earlier, I am at a time in my life that I do not care what people think of me, my judgment day will come, I do not judge others as I do not know what their journey is in their path of God, all I can do is the next right thing...and be the best I can...and love!!!
Thanks for letting me share, felt really good.
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