Bad News for Me

[red crayon]

Re: Bad News for Me

We are here for you if you need anyone to talk to during this rough patch you are going through! Hold on to your faith and always look forward. Whats done is done. I often wish I had some magic way to fix things but there just isnt any. All you can do is learn from and remember this experience while moving forward. Everything moves in cycles its how life works so hang on the good times are coming. They are just a little farther down lifes long and rocky road.

[CWB]

Re: Bad News for Me

Im so sorry brother. There is no pain like emotional pain for me. I find working on bettering the man I am to be the best thing while working through difficult times.

[Ecto]

Re: Bad News for Me

I want to again say Thank You for all the kind words and optimism. This so hard on me right now, I'm not taking it very well, but that is expected, I guess it's like mourning a death, cause I am losing someone I still love. This whole experience will drain me physically, mentally, and financially. Times will be rough, I might be livng on skid row when I have to start paying child support. In the state where I live Child Support is going to decimate me. $800 a month for sure, heck that is a house payment. Oh well, I will give anything to help support my kids, I love them dearly. I love you guys, you're AWESOME!!!!!

[ineedtogrow]

Re: Bad News for Me

I want to again say Thank You for all the kind words and optimism. This so hard on me right now, I'm not taking it very well, but that is expected, I guess it's like mourning a death, cause I am losing someone I still love. This whole experience will drain me physically, mentally, and financially. Times will be rough, I might be livng on skid row when I have to start paying child support. In the state where I live Child Support is going to decimate me. $800 a month for sure, heck that is a house payment. Oh well, I will give anything to help support my kids, I love them dearly. I love you guys, you're AWESOME!!!!!

i hear you on the child support bro! thats what i have to pay for 1 kid. i think its bullshit because the courts say that is my HALF of the share. what fucking kid do you know cost $1600/month? i also have 3 kids living at home with me and they dont cost $4800/month to take care of. i cant fucking stand our government.

[REGGOR]

Re: Bad News for Me

Sorry to hear this brother and yes your right it is going to be tuff.. I met my first wife when we where 17 years old and we where togther till we where 35 or so.. My wife cheated on me so i had to leave her and we have 2 kids..
Losing my kids destroyed me and it is still upsetting ten years latter .. Being that i left home at 16 years old i never had a education and had to move back to my home state 500 miles away cuz i coukld not afford to live and pay support..My daughter to this day is now 18 and still wont talk to me ..

Brother i wish there was away you could hang on with her cuz for me its a pain that will never go away.
I fell in the bottle for alomst ten yearsand all but gave up. Then i met a phillipino girl and she stayed with me as i fought my way back to life.. She is religious and she will say to this day that she was sent from god to save me.. I am far from a religious man but we have been married now for 8 years..

You wont be alone for ever bro ..

Ohh yha and i have had to mostly work for the last 10 years just to make my support payments.. The courts will suck all the life out of you..

[REGGOR]

Re: Bad News for Me

If you can't hold on bro..

Child support is seprate from
daycare
school activites
medical insurance
and a fuck load of other stuff.. Try to get one of your kids for the tax decutiion even tho she will have them you can still claim them ..

You need to get a good lawyer bro by the time the courts got done with me i lost every thing i ever had .. I ended up with a tv and a old recliner. Lost my home and had to file bankruptcy..
I am not trying to scare you bro but i dont want to see you get bent over like i did..

Brother take care of yourself and if there is any thing i can do hit me up .. There is alot of things i wish i would have done but was to stuipd to know but fuck i know now..

[Ecto]

Re: Bad News for Me

Well the split is amiccable and we are still friends. I know divorce court can make a mess of what was friendly. But she can have the house and everything in it except some small things. She is more concerned that I do well and don't move from this town and wants to give me 50/50 on custody of the kids. I know the lawyers are out for blood and want to pit us up against each other, but the only material possessions I need I can take with me no problem. The child support won't be bad if i get partial custody. I pay for everything including insurance and she is self employed and makes just barely less than I do. I am trying to be smart and positive about it. I am all ears on any advice you guys offer and being that is is my first rodeo of divorce. LOL

[REGGOR]

Re: Bad News for Me

Man thats great news bro.. Sounds like you have a good handle on it.. Looks like you are going to be ok bro !!!

[ineedtogrow]

Re: Bad News for Me

Well the split is amiccable and we are still friends. I know divorce court can make a mess of what was friendly. But she can have the house and everything in it except some small things. She is more concerned that I do well and don't move from this town and wants to give me 50/50 on custody of the kids. I know the lawyers are out for blood and want to pit us up against each other, but the only material possessions I need I can take with me no problem. The child support won't be bad if i get partial custody. I pay for everything including insurance and she is self employed and makes just barely less than I do. I am trying to be smart and positive about it. I am all ears on any advice you guys offer and being that is is my first rodeo of divorce. LOL

my ex said the same things before she screwed me. she got a Lawyer, I didn't and I lost my ass. poke as much money away as you can, but not in any bank account, make it cash and hide it well. make sure you go into this with a lawyer. things can still go exactly how you want even if you have one, but they will make sure you don't get fucked. your lawyer is there for you in your corner and if you want to give your wife everything your lawyer will help you make that happen and make sure in the end that you still get to see your children.

[Ecto]

Re: Bad News for Me

Oh I am definitely getting a lawyer, cause things CAN change. She has told me I can take up to six months or longer to get my finances in order before we even start this process, all while still living here in the same house. For now she is sleeping in the other bedroom. So far it has been civil but women can be very vindictive and I will be watching my back.

[ineedtogrow]

Re: Bad News for Me

Oh I am definitely getting a lawyer, cause things CAN change. She has told me I can take up to six months or longer to get my finances in order before we even start this process, all while still living here in the same house. For now she is sleeping in the other bedroom. So far it has been civil but women can be very vindictive and I will be watching my back.

that's good bro. always keep thinking that way. just make sure you keep your money out of the system and keep it in cash. if things get nasty she will try to take it and what the man can't see, he can't take.

[red crayon]

Re: Bad News for Me

Again I wish I had some good advice to share. I dont. This devorce thing works very well for most people but there are exceptions. Everyone is right get a lawyer! With a Lawyer you will probably be able to keep your friend, wife, as she is right now. Without one who knows.

My wife and I split for awhile back in the 80's, a few months. I am still with here and still love her with all my heart. I found out her mom talked her into it, thats why we split. I just came home from work one day and I had one plate one chair one spoon one fork one blanket one towel one bar of soap one . . . . well you get the idea. They had cleaned out the house. After that she said she wanted something better but we could still be friends. I told her "Does the phrase Rot in Hell mean anything to you!" To make a long story short we wound up getting back together a few months later. I kept asking the kids if she had a boy friend. If she did I was going to be gone forever. They said no. I was just working and making all the money I could which ment long hours at work. She kept making sure most of it was being spent. That was an expensive bunch of nonsence she pulled on me and it cost us a house and bad credit for a long time.

Now we have a great mirrage and get along great! I wouldnt trade her for anything. She worked hard and has mostly made ammends for what happened during our split. Still I was hurt and it wouldnt take much to open that old wound back up. I forgave her but I cant forget.

I told you this story to let you know things are bad for you but they could be worse. I believe things will get better for you! Time heals as they say. I also think distance helps but thats me. Maybe this story will help you out some way, I hope so.

[zedhed]

Re: Bad News for Me

Ecto you have a good start. You and her need to sit down together and handle as much of this as you can bro. And put it in writing. Tell her and make her know that you want what is best for both of you and why give your money to the dam lawyers. Make her know that this is why you wanna do as much as you 2 can yourselves. It will save you a ton, both of you.
You and run it. You dont have to let the lawyers do it all and no sense in throwing your money at them. All you really need them for is to appear with you in the court room and thats all bro.
Been there and done this. This is really the very best way. You and her work it out your selves and good luck to you both bro.

[REGGOR]

Re: Bad News for Me

I wanted to tell you what happend to me to show you how bad things can get ... Bro some women can be so evil that its unimaganinble.. Good luck brother i hope it goes nice and easy for you..

[Ecto]

Re: Bad News for Me

Ecto you have a good start. You and her need to sit down together and handle as much of this as you can bro. And put it in writing. Tell her and make her know that you want what is best for both of you and why give your money to the dam lawyers. Make her know that this is why you wanna do as much as you 2 can yourselves. It will save you a ton, both of you.
You and run it. You dont have to let the lawyers do it all and no sense in throwing your money at them. All you really need them for is to appear with you in the court room and thats all bro.
Been there and done this. This is really the very best way. You and her work it out your selves and good luck to you both bro.

Funny you mention that, we are actually talking about that now. We would like to do this ourselves, I just hope we can settle on who pays for what. Do we still need to hire lawyers to just make an appearance, what does that do?