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The Official Muscle Coalition L.O.L Thread
NATALIE
A guy gets from a plane and goes to a beautiful double storey house, he knocks on the door and an attractive woman opens the door.
"I wanna see Natalie"
The lady looks the man up and down, he clearly doesn't have a lot of money.
"Sir to see Natalie you will have to pay $1,000 for half an hour"
"Is no problem, I have ze money"
Just then a gorgeous brunette in a black evening gown comes down the stairs and the guy looks at her
"Natalie?"
"Yes?"
"I want to spend a little time with you"
She smirks at the man's apearance
"It will cost you $1,000"
The guy takes out a roll of cash and hands it to her, they go upstairs, do the dirty and he leaves half an hour later. The next day the guy is back, he knocks, the madame opens and is quite surprised that the guy is back
"I wanna see Natalie"
"Well it's still $1,000"
"No problem, I have ze money"
He shows her the money, he goes upstairs, hand the money to Natalie, spend half an hour poking her clam and leaves
So it continues for three more days, after the fifth day Natalie turns to him while he's dressing and says
"You know it's the first time that somebody came back so many times, where are you from?"
"I am from Tel Aviv"
Natalie sits up
"Really? I have a sister in Tel Aviv"
The guy grins and replies
"I know, she gave me $5,000 to give you"
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$100 TATTOO
A guy gets home late one night and his wife says, "Where the hell have you been?"
Him: "I was out getting a tattoo."
Her: "A tattoo?" "What kind of tattoo did you get? "
Him: "I got a hundred dollar bill on my penis."
Her: "What the hell were you thinking? Why did you get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on your penis?"
Him: "Well, number one, I like to watch my money grow . . .
Number two, once in a while, I like to play with my money . . .
Third, I like how money feels in my hand . . .
And lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want!"
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DAUGHTER'S NEW B.O.B (Battery Operated Boyfriend)
As a mother passed her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter giving herself a real workout with a vibrator. Shocked, she asked, "What in the world are you doing?
The daughter replied, "Mom, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone."
The next day, the girl's father heard the same buzz coming from the other side of the closed bedroom door. Upon entering the room, he observed his daughter making passionate love to her vibrator.
To his query as to what she was doing, the daughter said, "Dad, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband! Please, go away and leave me alone."
A couple days later, the wife came home from a shopping trip, placed the groceries on the kitchen counter, and heard that buzzing noise coming from, of all places, the family room. She entered that area and observed her husband sitting on the couch, staring at the TV. The vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing like crazy.
The wife asked, "What the hell are you doing?"
The husband replied, "I'm watching the ball game with my son-in-law."
A guy gets from a plane and goes to a beautiful double storey house, he knocks on the door and an attractive woman opens the door.
"I wanna see Natalie"
The lady looks the man up and down, he clearly doesn't have a lot of money.
"Sir to see Natalie you will have to pay $1,000 for half an hour"
"Is no problem, I have ze money"
Just then a gorgeous brunette in a black evening gown comes down the stairs and the guy looks at her
"Natalie?"
"Yes?"
"I want to spend a little time with you"
She smirks at the man's apearance
"It will cost you $1,000"
The guy takes out a roll of cash and hands it to her, they go upstairs, do the dirty and he leaves half an hour later. The next day the guy is back, he knocks, the madame opens and is quite surprised that the guy is back
"I wanna see Natalie"
"Well it's still $1,000"
"No problem, I have ze money"
He shows her the money, he goes upstairs, hand the money to Natalie, spend half an hour poking her clam and leaves
So it continues for three more days, after the fifth day Natalie turns to him while he's dressing and says
"You know it's the first time that somebody came back so many times, where are you from?"
"I am from Tel Aviv"
Natalie sits up
"Really? I have a sister in Tel Aviv"
The guy grins and replies
"I know, she gave me $5,000 to give you"
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::
$100 TATTOO
A guy gets home late one night and his wife says, "Where the hell have you been?"
Him: "I was out getting a tattoo."
Her: "A tattoo?" "What kind of tattoo did you get? "
Him: "I got a hundred dollar bill on my penis."
Her: "What the hell were you thinking? Why did you get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on your penis?"
Him: "Well, number one, I like to watch my money grow . . .
Number two, once in a while, I like to play with my money . . .
Third, I like how money feels in my hand . . .
And lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want!"
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::
DAUGHTER'S NEW B.O.B (Battery Operated Boyfriend)
As a mother passed her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter giving herself a real workout with a vibrator. Shocked, she asked, "What in the world are you doing?
The daughter replied, "Mom, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone."
The next day, the girl's father heard the same buzz coming from the other side of the closed bedroom door. Upon entering the room, he observed his daughter making passionate love to her vibrator.
To his query as to what she was doing, the daughter said, "Dad, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband! Please, go away and leave me alone."
A couple days later, the wife came home from a shopping trip, placed the groceries on the kitchen counter, and heard that buzzing noise coming from, of all places, the family room. She entered that area and observed her husband sitting on the couch, staring at the TV. The vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing like crazy.
The wife asked, "What the hell are you doing?"
The husband replied, "I'm watching the ball game with my son-in-law."
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