Bad News for Me

[Ecto]

Me and the wife I think are finally moving towards divorce. After 17 years of marriage she just doesn't love me and can't seem to reciprocate the love I give her. We've been to counseling, marriage seminars, you name it, we don't want to hurt our 3 children and I know THEY will suffer the most from this. Tonight I finally broke down and had myself a 6 pack of Guiness beer, it's the first time I have drank in over 3 years. I am not moving out till I get enough money saved up and the split is not a knock down drag out but amiccable. I hope i spelled that right. I like to think of myself as a man of God and wonder why this is happening to me. I feel I have a year long struggle ahead of me, full of loneliness and just being down right distraught and I hope working out will make me feel better, even though that too may suffer and become sporadic. I know God says he will never give me more than I can handle, it will be rough at first, I will miss my kids the most. I rambling on, but needed a friend to talk to tonight as the only buddies I have are right here on this forum. Thanks for listening. I am just glad I have a family here that will listen.....

[joeblow12345]

Re: Bad News for Me

That's a shame bro. I hope everything works out for you. Good luck.

[ineedtogrow]

Re: Bad News for Me

damn bro it always sucks to hear things like this. sometimes though it can definately be for the best though. it can change your life and your childrens life for the best. I wouldn't look at it in a bad way, but instead think about it as breaking free from the problem that has plagued you for so long. keep your head up bro when one door closes another always opens.

[Mattingly]

Re: Bad News for Me

Ecto, very sorry to hear brother. The fact that both of you are most concerned about your kids is great to hear. I wish more parents thought kids first. With them as your focus you can get through this as well as possible for all of you!

[Vicious 13]

I'm very sorry brother... Put your faith in god and stay strong... A couple of beers is ok but please don't get on the wrong path it will make things so much worse. I've been through hell and back myself please feel free to pm me if u want to talk. Sometimes it's nice
To air things out

[Ecto]

Re: Bad News for Me

I'm very sorry brother... Put your faith in god and stay strong... A couple of beers is ok but please don't get on the wrong path it will make things so much worse. I've been through hell and back myself please feel free to pm me if u want to talk. Sometimes it's nice
To air things out

No wrong path for me. I went down that alcohol road long ago. It probably killed all the love in my wife way back when and she just never got it back. We separated 5 years ago for 2 months because she was having an online affair with her old fiance from high school, he was her first love, but he is married, and things didn't pan out online, so she wanted me back, but it's been too late, she just doesn't love me. We're friends but I can't keep living with a roomate. This has been a long time coming and we have tried everything, I just finally had to face it, man up, and make the decision, as bad as it is tearing me apart. I'm 42 and wasn't really looking to spend the rest of my life alone. Anywho thanks for all the advice and uplifting words.

[Fit Guru]

Sometimes it's just over . You gotta know when. I hate being alone so I hung on to my last marriage way too long. Good luck bro!

[SisterSteel]

Re: Bad News for Me

I'm sorry to hear this but like Fit said you have to know when to walk away.

[babablacksheep]

I feel for you ecto....I would not wish divorce on my worst enemy....I can't imagine what it's like....pm me if you need to and know myself and the community is here for whatever we can do for you....take care of yourself and your kids and I promise things will get better for you

[Manny1983]

Re: Bad News for Me

Damn bro I'm so sorry. I don't know how divorce feels but I split up with my baby momma we were together for almost 9 years and it sucked but it gets better brother just hang in there. If you need anything my pm box is always open.

[zedhed]

Re: Bad News for Me

Bro Ecto Im so sorry man. But believe me there really is nothing worse then staying in a dead marriage. It is poison for both of you and what Fit said it exactly true.
So at this point bro do what you need to do and make it as nice as you can. Peeps do just plain fall out of love bro and its a fact of life.
Better for each of you to go your own way then to live out your lives in misery. Your right bro it is bad for the kids. But it is also bad for the kids to be in a life where the parents cant stand each other.
IMO God does understand us, after all he made us and he knows every one of our short comings. He knows whats in your heart and thats all that counts bro.
I hope the best for you Ecto.

[Ironguruera]

Ecto we are here for you brother. just trust me on this one. When it comes to women....the grass is always greener in my experience. You deserve someone who will give back what u are giving.

You have always been a gentlemen on here, and I'm sure a lovely lady will see that in you when u are ready.

I've been down the heart break road a few times brother. Do your best to not dwell on what if had done this or what if we had done that. You have done much more then most to make things work. Just move forward!

Find comfort in your lifting and in your brothers here at the mc!

[Nelson303]

Ecto, we are here of ya dog. Stay away from the booze. It got the best of me when my divorce went through. My marriage was just going through the motions. And it was and is the hardest on the kids. But as parents we need to be well enough to function. Even if it means a divorce. Only time and love will tell. Sounds like you are thinking level headed so, now just do what you can to make it easy for the kids. I feel you bro. There are no simple answers. Good luck dog

[chrisotpherm]

Ecto my heart goes out to you brother. I too am a firm believer in God. Still everyone has their own free will and choice and if two people are not having the same will and choose together forever then we have to except things for what they are. Hold in the faith my brother and don't beat yourself down as again you can't change anyone but yourself.

You will not be alone or go down a rough road without anyone. WE WILL ALL be here walking beside and if need be carry you through whatever you go through.

Be a peace brother, know your lived here and refocus your energy on how you can be the best dad you possibly can be for the kids. For that is what matters now!

[kazman68]

Re: Bad News for Me

Me and the wife I think are finally moving towards divorce. After 17 years of marriage she just doesn't love me and can't seem to reciprocate the love I give her. We've been to counseling, marriage seminars, you name it, we don't want to hurt our 3 children and I know THEY will suffer the most from this. Tonight I finally broke down and had myself a 6 pack of Guiness beer, it's the first time I have drank in over 3 years. I am not moving out till I get enough money saved up and the split is not a knock down drag out but amiccable. I hope i spelled that right. I like to think of myself as a man of God and wonder why this is happening to me. I feel I have a year long struggle ahead of me, full of loneliness and just being down right distraught and I hope working out will make me feel better, even though that too may suffer and become sporadic. I know God says he will never give me more than I can handle, it will be rough at first, I will miss my kids the most. I rambling on, but needed a friend to talk to tonight as the only buddies I have are right here on this forum. Thanks for listening. I am just glad I have a family here that will listen.....

Man I'm so Sorry! I broke up with a lady I loved after 7+ years and a good friend who just ended a 20 yr marriage...it's hard, one of the hardest things you ever will deal with, you have friends here...It's so hard at first but I swear it does get easier, don't be afraid to lean on people...my buddy is doing better, I'm happier than ever today etc...remember you have people who care, you don't have to fight this alone, and God is there as well..he always will be..